Rant #2 - Adobe Updates

If you're like 99% of us out there, you've been asked to integrate Adobe pdf documents into one of your applications.

Have you ever completed this task, just to have a user complain that their workstation "freezes" or "locks up" (the terms used may vary here) when they attempt to view the pdf document?

Is the culprit Windows? A slow workstation? No - unfortunately the culprit is likely the insidious Adobe Updates. This mechanism basically freezes the launching of Adobe until you answer whether or not you wish to install the latest updates.

Typically when the user reports this, an Adobe window can be found minimized on the Task Bar, waiting for a response.

Yes - those of you out there saying "Why not just turn off the auto updates in the Adobe settings?" are correct; however, we're talking about workstations that are remote and that you don't get a chance to configure, so you're up to the diligence (or lack thereof) of the system administrators to turn off this feature at your request.

And we all know how much System Administrators love requests from developers... :-)

Rant #1 - Swim Lanes

If you're like me, you can appreciate the elegance and beauty of a clean flowchart. That is, of course, unless you're work of art has been corrupted by that notorious friend of management called "Swim Lanes".

Swim Lanes - also christened "Cross-Functional Flowcharts" by some unknown egghead - are horizontal lanes drawn across a flowchart that denote what functional entity (person, organization, system, etc.) owns the action being described by the flowchart blocks within that same lane.

For example, you may have a swim lane labelled "customers" and a flowchart symbol inside of that swim lane that is labelled "Complete Online Application", denoting that the action of completing the online application is performed/owned by customers.

This all sounds great in theory, until you review a flowchart that has been ruined by this flury of colored bands. I say that if you need to know who is performing an action on the flowchart, place the information into the description. Is it really that hard to say "Customer Completes Online Application"? Do we really need these ugly bars to tell me this?

Whew! That felt good.

Welcome

Poor or non-existent specifications, rival consultants, bloatware, Windows crashes - is it any wonder that I'm a crabby programmer?!?! I've created this little corner of the Web to vent about the little things in my profession that irk and provoke me.

I'm hoping that you'll join along in the fun. You don't have to be a crabby programmer - you may be an irritable systems analyst, or perhaps a disgruntled network administrator.

You can even rant about programmers on this blog (of course you may get flamed back!) Whatever your technical beef, feel free to air it all here - on the Crabby Programmer!